Beat the heat and wait until the temperature plummets before lacing on your joggers.
Beat the heat and wait until the temperature plummets before lacing on your joggers. iStock

Cool it - winter is best time to achieve your fitness goals

Folks, I don't know where you live, but in my neck of the woods, summer is hanging round longer than a dead fruitbat dangling off a powerline.

Still, like the deceased bat, the temperature is bound to drop sooner or later.

So now is the time to dust off your New Year's resolution list and immediately scratch out the ones you have no hope of attaining, like finding inner peace, being more tolerant, paying off your debts and achieving work/work/work/life balance.

That should just leave the slightly less impossible goals - meditating, watching less telly, learning a new language, sorting through your old photos and getting fit.

My friends, I'm here to help. First of all, most of us tend to zone out while watching telly and that's technically meditating and not really watching the idiot box, which rather neatly kills two bats with one stone.

Secondly, Americano is already the lingua franca of the planet and it's close enough to English for us to understand The Donald's ramblings - that's another you can check off.

Finally, life is far too short to spend it sitting in a deep pile of faded photos full of people you vaguely remember, trying to recall what year the snaps were taken. Frankly, they're dump fodder as soon as you cark it, so shove them back in the closet and they're someone else's problem now.

This should leave only one item left on your list: Get Fit. Now, I'm no expert on the topic, but I've learned two things over the years which have kept me fit. Well, semi-fit. Alright, not completely bed-ridden.

The most important one is never attempt to get fit in the middle of an Australian summer. Especially when the humidity is so high that staggering to the letterbox is like trying to paddle through a vat of warm molasses.

Wait 'til the temperature plummets like a stunned bat before lacing on your joggers.

Secondly, if you do find yourself gazing at a dead bat dangling in powerlines, avoid jogging into a power pole.

Don't ask. Just don't ask.